Once upon a fairytaco of humor
by FoRsak3n
Summary: PARODY! Kairi spends the night in Castle Oblivion with Namine and talks her into pulling pranks on Organization XIII... That can only result in, Fun!
1. An odd start to a very long night

(( Disclaimer: No.. I do not own Kingdom Hearts. ))

(( Recap: Poor Namine has had one bad mishap after another with the Organization XIII members, all in one night to top that off. So what happens when Kairi decides to spend the night in Castle Oblivion and talks Namine into pulling pranks on the Organization? KH parody, following one night in the Memory Witch's shoes... And yes, I know the title makes absolutely no sense. That's what I was going for. ))

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CH1: An odd start to a very long night...

It was a slow night, like any other; nothing too special to even mention while the Organization XIII members lounged around inside their hideout. Three knocks where then heard on a wooden frame to one of the many Castle Oblivion doors, this one being the one that was mostly used by the residents inside of The World that Never Was. Namine had been knocking on the bathroom door, wanting to use the quarters, thus, the reason there were three knocks being accomplished. Giving a low grumble to having no answer come from inside the room, the Memory Witch glares at the door, crossing her arms while sighing deeply. Unfortunately, this was a recurring event that happened almost every night in the castle. Though, what she couldn't understand was, why didn't number XIII use his own room to cut his wrists. I mean, come on, if he's going to go off an pretend to be emo then he should at least do it in his own space instead of taking up the only bathroom that was on this freaking floor. Come on Roxas! We know you're only doing it for the attention. Remembering that Xaldin had been just down the hallway, the timid girl yelled down to him; hoping for someone to possibly drag the other Special Nobody out of the bathroom. If by force, then that would be just lovely.

"Ugh, Xaldin... Roxas is playing emo in the bathroom again! Get it!"

Completely ignoring the females plea to use the bathroom, Roxas groaned out in self pity, attempting to cut his wrist with a plastic fork that he had stolen from the kitchen while he ate his mid-day snack; not to mention that he was getting no where since he kept complaining about how much it hurt. The wimp. It was getting kind of pathetic if you ask me. Though, from a few rooms down the hall, a reply was given back to Namine, having the Whirlwind Lancer ask what the hell he was supposed to do about the giant cry baby.

"Well what am I supposed to do about it, cry him a river so I can drown him in it?!"

Drowning him? Now that wasn't a bad idea actually. Though, it seemed that Namine was stuck waiting while the Key of Destiny continued his act, so she simply shook her head while pushing the thought from her mind. Huffing in an utterly annoyed way, the witch rolled her blue eyes to Xaldin's words, turning her body around on it's heels so the female could lean her back up against the wall. Who knows how long the boy would be in there, and she wasn't about to walk off and give up her chance to take a well needed shower just because Roxas was PMSing. Roxas, who was now talking to himself, trying to think up a plan to not seen so pathetic, stared down at his wrists through big salty tears of wanna-be emo pain. Declaring his angsty love to Doritos while he stopped jabbing the fork into his skin. By the looks of it, he wasn't even pushing down hard enough to leave a surface scratch let alone break the skin.

"God! I can't do it! But if I don't come out with at least one scratch, then they will all think I'm a pussy or something..."

We already do Roxas, we already do. So no need to worry about that right? It wasn't long before an idea came to his head, causing the male to smirk out with achievement. Flicking those eyes that were stained a shade of pink from crying, he glanced around the room; letting his smirk turn into a genuine grin. As if he had came up with the most super duper fantastic amazing idea of all time. Try saying that three times fast within one breath.

"I know! Who says that I have to _actually_ cut myself? Just as long as it LOOKS like I did. I'll use this!"

Emphasis on the '_this',_ people. Just thought I would let you know that. Okay, well, after explaining _his_ entire theory on being emo, Roxas quickly reached out to grasp a hold of the nearest object to his body. Now holding up a bright pink highlighter as if it held all the answers in the world before he laughed out all crazy like. I just want to know something, why in the hell was there a highlighter in the bathroom to begin with? Should I even want to know? Kind of makes you think don't it.

"They'll never know the difference! I'm brilliant! Oprah... eat your heart out. OH! That reminds me... I forgot to tape Dr. Phil today.. damn me. And it was going to be a good episode too... Men and their love for having children by beefy burritos."

Don't ask about the beefy burrito thing, I couldn't think of anything else. My mind is a blur right now! Leave me alone, you're tearing me apart! Okay, I'm done now. After going to town on his arms, scribbling all over his skin in attempt to make him look suicidal, the blonde chuckled out more. In all honesty, it looked more like he had drew pictures of little pink ponies and magical fairies then it did cuts of anguish and pain. The poor guy. Maybe someone should probably sit him down and have a nice, long talk with the blonde. Okay, scratch that, have an entire lecture with him to try and straighten his shit out. Because it's not like he going to wake up one morning and figure out that he's going about it all wrong now is he.

Sniffling a couple of times after a few more minutes had passed, Roxas peered down to his glorious work of art; staring at the drawings with a smile plastered across his shiny, lip gloss covered lips. It was now time for him to enter phase two of his plan. Wait, hold up a second, there was a phase two?! Never mind, we'll get to that later. Finally, after two long hours of having Roxas laugh like a little pansy while he hummed the tune to 'All the things she said', he exited the bathroom with a proud look on his face. Instantly losing the expression as soon as his eyes fell onto the fellow Nobody who was leaning against the wall. Screaming bloody murder that someone had seen him walk out, Roxas turned around and started to run back to his room; leaving Namine there to watch him run off with a lost expression.

"Uh...o-okay? He has some serious attention issues..."

Namine then shakes her head, turning around before actually getting to enter the door. Having made success after all, which is the most awesome feeling in the world if I do say so myself. You have no idea how wonderful it feels to use the tub after having waiting for what seems like an eternity. Well, maybe you do. But that's besides the point, and besides, poor Namine's troubles are not over just yet.

Not by a long shot.

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(( A/N: I kid you not... we had a girl at school one time who really did use a pink highlighter to mark on her wrists so she could go around saying she cut herself. So that was actually based on a real event, lol. And yes, the characters are going to be slightly OC. Seeing how this is a parody. ))


	2. The Hokey Pokey Remix?

(( Disclaimer: No, I do not own KH. ))

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CH 2: The Hokey Pokey Remix?

After the bathroom dilemma, Namine had made her way back into her room with a deep sigh; mumbling under her breath about how she could ruin the Organization by leaking out all their dirty little secrets. She could probably write an entire novel on Marluxia's secrets alone. Slowly opening the overly large white door to her room, the Memory Witch took a single step into her quarters, only to pause in complete horror. Why in the world was Marluxia standing there? Oh, and would you look at that; surprise, surprise, that it's Marluxia of all people. Doesn't he have anything else better to do with his free time than to annoy the shit out of poor Namine? Not to mention that the Graceful Assassin was wearing one of _her_ dresses, which is probably what had caused her to halt in all action in the first place. It was bad enough that he was even in her room, but getting his germs all up on her clothes, now that was where he had crossed the line! Blinking at the male a few times, the girl calmly closed her eyes; bringing in a deep breath before letting it out. Giving a growled complaint to the intruder.

"Oi! Marluxia, what the?! What are you doing in one of my dresses, and-"

It was then when the female had spotted it. Spotted none other than her brand new, not even opened yet, eye liner in his right hand. And I'm not talking about just any old eyeliner, oh no. No no, I'm talking about the good stuff. The Cover girl point plus that costs like five bucks for a single stick is what I'm talking about. You can mess with a woman's territory, you can probably get away with messing with a woman's clothes, but when it comes to her makeup; let's face it. You're good as dead. Obviously no one had informed the little faggot of these conditions. Heh, oh well. Too bad. Guess he's about to learn the hard way.

"Is that MY eye liner? Ugh, you teabagger, that is it! Get out of my room before I chop off your penor, shove it down your throat and choke you with it!"

Being absolutely furious by now, Namine storms over to the stunned Marluxia, grabbing him by that mop he called hair, and manages to drag his stupid ass back to the door. Snatching her eye liner from him while shoving him forward with a push as the girl slammed the door in his face with every ounce of strength she owned. Which isn't a lot considering her size, but she can still pack a little something. And, as for the eye liner, well, she's not going to wear it now obviously since he got his skank smell all up on the stick. But she would rather burn the substance than to see Marluxia walking around with a smug expression as her wore_ her _eye liner. Thinking he won or some random, make believe story like that of his. We all know how his pretend, fairy tail stories come out. God modding himself which is quite funny, considering how much of a pansy the male is.

Still lost inside his fear of the angered Memory Witch, Marluxia turned to slink off; hoping that she wouldn't follow since that kind of scared number XI. All I have to say is good. He deserved it. Still being in her dress though, the pink haired male ended up walking past Zigbar's room which had the door wide open. This only fueling Marluxia's curiosity and was bound to end in someone getting hurt. That, or ass raped. Being nosy, he smirked before sticking his head in to take a peek; wanting to see what the Free Shooter does with his free time when no one is looking. Blinking a few times, XI's mouth dropped open as he stared at the dancing Zigbar, seeing him shake his butt to the Hokey Pokey; techno style remix. Watching him with a sinister smirk, drool started to foam at the side of Marluxia's mouth; followed by a little giggle that made him sound like a Japanese school girl.

"So THAT'S what the Ziggster does with his free time."

Hearing the feminine laugh, Zigbar instantly turned around, spotting the fellow Organization member that was standing in his doorway like a blooming idiot. Watching his goodies while he shook his milkshake. And yes, apparently his milkshake really did bring all the boys to the yard. Letting out a manly girl scream, much the way a naked woman would in those old, black and white movies, Zigbar glared at the other male before reaching over to grab a can of his hairspray. Chucking the can as hard as he could at Marluxia's face. Of course it made contact, managing to spray at the same time which got into the Assassin's eyes. Resulting in Marluxia throwing himself onto the floor, rolling around while screaming out in horror. I so wish right now that I could say he spontaneously combusted into flames and died on impact, but that would let the asshat off too easily. So, back to Zigbar, who was currently ignoring his screams. Stepping over his body to leave off in a huff of anger, Ziggy stuck his nose into the air on his departure. How dare he interrupt a grown man when he's in the middle of a groove!

Insert an adorable, trying to be innocently evil, chibi laugh here. Wait, can chibi's even be evil? I honestly have no idea.

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(( A/N: XD I really don't know what to say about this chapter... so uh... Chapter three here I come. ))


	3. Saix's face goes to college

(( Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own KH ))

(( A/N: Weee.. parody.. okay... ))

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CH 3: Saix's face goes to college...

Later that evening...

Namine was sitting in the parlor drawing away in her sketch pad by now, having Demyx sitting across from her while he played around with a couple of old magazines. More like cutting out the bodies of people and was pretending they were 'action figures' slash paper confetti. Uh huh, action figures? More like barbie dolls but we'll play along just to make Demyx feel better about his feminine ways; right you guys? Agree with me because I say so. Well, every now and then, the male would glance at her for a moment before looking away until looking back to the girl which was seriously starting to get old. Having the Melodious Nocturne do this at least ten times caused her eyebrow to twitch slightly, followed by the Special Nobody looking up to blink at him in an irritated way. Giving him a _'can I help you'_ look. After a while, Demyx finally opened his mouth to speak; looking away while he talked to her since he didn't have the balls to say it while looking the witch directly in the eyes.

"I hate you..."

Namine blinked to his choice in words, giving a confused expression but allowed it to slide. Instantly replying to him without even having to put any mind to what words she would use. Saying the first thing that came to her mind, she commented him, dropping her crystal blue gaze back onto the drawing she was currently working on since she was multi-talented and didn't need to look at the boy while talking.

"Yeah? Well, not as much as I hate you..."

Hearing her come up with something so fast, Demyx pouted, going to think of another come back. This taking him a few seconds while he tried to think of the best thing to say. Drawing a blank in that tiny mind of his, the rocker grinned when a word finally came to him. Instantly giving a nod to himself before parting his lips to speak. Obviously he was proud of coming up with something on his own. Wow, what a shocker. And yes, that was sarcasm.

"...freak..."

By now, a smirk had crossed Namine's light pink lips, having the blonde allow her bangs to hide her eyes while they glistened with what she was about to say next. If that was the best he could think of, then all hope was lost for him. Not looking up from her drawing, the girl slipped down into her chair a little more, getting comfy before speaking to him since it really didn't involve much effort on her part. Not even skipping a beat before she spoke out to him, the female gave a cocky reply, ending up being a nice little comment on his element of attack.

"Best costumer at Bath and Body Works..."

Hearing those words, Demyx started to tear up, mouth instantly dropping open before he stared at her with a hurt expression. Opening and closing his mouth a few times, as if he was about to say something but decided against it, he suddenly burst out into tears. Covering his face while he screamed into his hands, sobbing like there was no tomorrow. Drama. Don't you just love it? Once again, sarcasm.

"Larexen said she would never tell!"

Sniffling and coughing into his palms, his words came out muffled. But not muffled to the point where Namine couldn't make them out. Actually, she heard every syllable loud and clear, seeing how he had managed to scream it out after a cough. Though, as if on cue, all the way on the other side of the castle, Saix was taking a shower when he paused. Looking up all serious like, as if he had just remembered something.

"My Demyx senses are tingling..."

Instantly, and not even drying himself off I might add, Saix popped up at the crying Demyx's side in a towel, already getting pissed at Namine without even knowing what had happened. All he knew was that Demyx was crying and that was enough to put him into Berserk mode. Go figure. Pointing an index finger at the girl, the blue haired male glared; grinding his teeth together while his other hand held a damp, soapy towel around his waist.

"I'll kill you!"

As if on cue himself, Zexion came up behind Namine while she sat in her chair. Blinking at the half naked male in front of her, Namine rested her sketch pad in her lap before lightly shaking her head. Hearing The Cloaked Schemer approach, the Special Nobody then laid her head back against the chair; looking up to him with an innocent expression as he stood above her. Zexion, having heard the entire thing, blinked to Saix in a bored way. Giving off the vibe that the Luna Diviner wasn't even worth his effort to speak towards.

"Saix, don't you have your pubic hairs to go braid or something?"

Saix, who was currently petting the still sobbing Demyx, looked up to glare at number VI; picking up Demyx in order to carry him off over his shoulder; which only proved that he couldn't think of anything to come back with. Pathetic loser. Watching the two leave into a portal of darkness, the hot Organization member spoke out upon their departure; lightly crossing his arms as the two fled.

"Fucking cum slushy..."

Hearing Zexion speak, Namine blinked a few times, flicking her gaze onto the doorway that was now starting to vanish before she peered back to her savior; tilting her head curiously. As if she hadn't understood something.

"Um... Zexion-sama, I thought you said Xemnas was a cum slushy."

Now dropping his gorgeous blue gaze down to her, he stared at her from behind his bangs; shaking his head before he closed those memorizing orbs of his.

"No, Xemnas is a cum muffin. There's a difference."

Namine continued to stare at him, trying to understand the difference between being a cum muffin and cum slushy before she nodded gently. Having her attention stolen by another portal of darkness that had opened right behind VI. Letting Axel appear behind Zexion while the red head reached out in order to poke him in the shoulder. Zexion, still having his eyes closed, calmly spoke out upon Axel's actions. Warning him of his personal space in advance.

"Touch me with that finger and I will rip your arm off and beat you with it."

Axel, who was stunned by the way Zexion known he was there without even seeing him, pouted while pointing to the ceiling in an excited gasp of amazement.

"Ohhh, what's that!?"

Then, as if ordered to do so, the fire user reached over to steal Namine away. Thinking that The Cloaked Schemer wasn't paying attention.

And thus, the plot thickens...

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(( A/N: Either chapter four or chapter five will be where Kairi and Sora come in... FUN FUN! Review and let me know what you think so far people! ))


	4. Doooby Doooby Dooo

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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Chapter Four: "Doooby Doooby Dooo"...

Our story now continues within one of the many closets in Castle Oblivion, the sound of a pull-string light being turned on was then heard, sounding more like the quack of a duck in heat then that of an actual click when a dim black light came on; having Namine's dress beaming so bright that Axel had to look away in order to shield his eyes. Screaming like a little fan girl, the man then held out another costume for the female to wear. Already knowing what he was about to say, the girl's eye twitched slightly; getting into an arguing manor. Staring at the the costume with her crystal blue orbs, the girl's teeth clenched down while the Special Nobody slightly growled under her breath. He had to be out of his freaking mind! There was no way that the Memory Witch would be caught dead in something as exposing as that. She might as well run around naked if she were to even think of putting on such a piece of clothing. Wait, scratch that, because most people would like it too much if she had done that. Anyways, Namine had her arms at her sides with her hands already turning into fists by this point; those orbs of hers blazing with fury. All the while having Axel wave his free hand around, as if trying to act out the scene of her putting on the Playboy bunny costume.

"Put it on!"

The Special Nobody unclenched her hands, bringing her left hand up to be placed on her hip in an utterly annoyed fashion now while drumming the digits against that hip before she flicked her eyes up to glare at Axel through her blonde bangs. Making sure that the look she was giving him was enough to scare the living hell out of even the scariest of lady bugs. Namine then blinked unamused to the fire user, looking away with protest.

"There's no way I'm going to wear that and serve those faggots like I was your some kind of slave."

Since they had been having this conversation long before you even joined in, just play along and pretend that you understand what's going on. Just nod your head and say yes, it always works for my friend; Hinata. Axel then stares down at her for a moment, lowering his voice some in order to sound alluring; but was failing. Miserably. Worse then Lord Semen, aka Seymour from Final Fantasy X. We call him Semen, so just agree with us. You know you want to. Wait, forget that, Hinata said for you to agree with us or no more updating. She's so evil. Okay, moving on; Axel shook his head slightly while putting his hands on his hips as a smirk fused with the tone of the next syllables at which he was about to speak.

"Look, it was either you or Saix. And since he wouldn't put on the costume, then you're the lucky victim."

Namine purses her lips out, re-crossing her arms as those gorgeous eyes of hers lowered to the floor; trying to hold herself back from strangling him. Oh, guess what?! We shall sing for you now; La! And, we're done. Fun's out, moving on to other business, again. Damn, seems like we have A.D.H.D or something, but you know what, A.D.H.D doesn't have anything on; oh look ...a puppy! Weeee! And yes, yes I agree. Hinata is a cereal killer. She's a beast with her double bladed spoon of the mystical my little pony.

"Well then, if you like it so much then why don't you wear it?"

After Namine spoke, Axel flipped his greasy hair back, managing to make the dry locks stand on end when a moth had fluttered out from the tresses, sticking his nose in the air like he was all that. Having a moth fly out of his hair? Talk about empty headed. Striking a fabulous pose while thrusting his butt out a bit too far, the red head managed to cause an avalanche of snow balls and candy apples to fall onto the Flurry of Flames; now grinning from ear to ear and not seeming to even noticed the pile of rubble that was slowly starting to eat away at his flesh.

"I know I'm sexy, but purple really doesn't flatter my good looks. And besides... I tried it on. The corset makes my hips look big."

The last part was slightly mumbled as Axel's smile turned into a slight frown. Hearing some disappointment in his voice made the corners of Namine's lips to quiver up some, then went back to the death glare. Apparently his pain amuses the witch. About five minutes later, Axel had smirked darkly; trying to be evil but only succeeding in making the smirk look more like that of a little gay boy who had just walked by a sale at Abercrombie and Finch. Rolling her eyes to how pathetic the guy was, Namine reached out to snatch the garment from his hand; holding the costume by the clothes hanger while shoving him out of the closet. Slamming the door before going to quickly change into the purple cosplay outfit; being that of a cute little playmate. Having the corset, matching bunny ears and tail, and not to forget the bow tie and cuffs for her hands; topped off with pantie ho stockings and a pair of tiny high heels. Okay, on any other girl that would just look slutty, but on the Special Nobody, that just sounds so adorable. And besides, she would rather get this over with then to spend another second locked in this stinking closet with that freak.

After a few minutes, the blonde slowly opened the door, staring at him while secretly plotting her revenge. And no, she won't play the avenger in the bathroom... not yet anyways. Just picking. She's too cool for that. leisurely grinning to way he had won the argument, Axel nodded in approval to her body. Won the argument? Ha, we think not. Namine doesn't give in, nor does she play games. She's only waiting until the right time to put her devious plans into action. Hench, the reason Kairi comes to the castle later this evening. Speaking to the female after she had exited the closet, Axel chuckled gleefully.

"Now see, that wasn't so hard."

Sweetly looking to the so called male, her large blue eyes sparkled with innocence; her petite hand moving up to her mouth. Parting her pink lips ever so softly, the female gently placed her index finger into her mouth, biting down some on the digit's end; making her seem so shy and timid. The way a virgin would look after being asked to expose herself. Forcing a small blush to creep along her cheeks, the girl moved in her stance to make her left hip stick out more then the right. Rubbing her left leg against the right while her form turned just enough so that her bunny tail and nicely toned butt was showing. Obviously leading him on since she hated the bastards guts. Pulling the finger from her mouth in a seductive manor when she heard his words about speaking on how she had gave such a fuss, the blonde gave him an alluring smile. Speaking her words through clenched teeth, letting the venom like words slip from her lips before narrowing her eyes to the despicable Organization member.

"I. Hate. You."

Axel then smirks again, that turning into a small smile, then quickly pulling in back to a smirk. Obviously he couldn't make up his mind on what he wanted to do with his facial expressions. Shrugging his shoulders before looking away from the adorable female, he spoke out again, letting her know that the feeling was mutual.

"Hahaha... besides, Luxord promised me that if I had gotten someone to serve drinks at his strip poker game tonight, he would leave Roxas tied up for me in my closet later."

Staring at him like he lost it, the Memory Witch then shakes her head from side to side softly; trying not to laugh at Roxas's pain. After all, Axel was scary and being tied up in his closet would end with years of therapy and loads of medication before XIII would even be able to sleep again.

"..I feel sorry for Roxas... even if he is a cry baby..."

The Flames of Fury gaped at the Special Nobody; his green eyes growing big. Stunned by her words as he just stared on, not really having anything to come back with as he started to laugh historically until snorting which caused him to quickly stop. Obviously he's on some kind of meth or something because that guy is crazy. Talk about dropping some acid, jeez. And if he starts hallucinating and starts to stab at his chest with a spoon, screaming there's demons inside him; Namine is running. That's just scary beyond all belief.

"...ah...hmph!"

Number VIII then turned on his heels, making his back face her as a look of hurt crossed his facial features. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lexaeus and Roxas drift into the scene all slow like, bobbing up and down in the air like they were flying to the beat of 'The Dance of the Sugar Plum fairies'; while they were currently humming the tune I might add. Well, more like Roxas was humming the song while Lexaeus scowled as if he had been forced into the whole act. XIII was kind of singing with that creepy, stalker type voice that kind of puts you in the mind set of someone who goes around peeping into windows. Don't ask, because I really don't want to know; it scares me to think about it. What was worse, now get this people because I'm not repeating myself, the two were dressed in pink, frilly tutu's; equipped with sparkling fairy wings and a magical pixie wand that lights up when they push some button on the side. Those things can be really annoying actually, especially the ones that play music. I hate those! Well, back to the prancing Organization members of who knows what.

The two had their bodies suspended from a support beam high over Namine and Axel's heads, dangling and dancing to their little hummed song which from the angel that Namine was forced to witness, wasn't a pretty one. Well, Roxas had continued until the Nobody had gotten to a part within the song where he suddenly paused in mid-tune, allowing Lexaeus to go, 'Doooby Doooby Dooo', in an extremely deep voice. It was as if the two had practiced this or something ahead of time. Having an annoyed expression cross the Silent Hero's face as he glowered at number XIII. Floating in a circle around Axel's head, Roxas continued to sing, that is until he forgot the words of the song. Um, how can you possibly forget the words to a song when you're freaking humming the tune?! God he's suck a dumb ass! Anyways, after coming to a halt in his song, the two suddenly blew into their hands, making a powered substance explode into Axel's face. Little did he know that it was a mixture of cooking flower and cat litter.

Instantly screaming from the contact it made with his eyes, the male started running around in circles; flailing his arms like he was trying to be a galloping Ostrich that was searching for his long, lost mate of tomato sauce. Namine stared at this, slightly shaking her head before turning to walk away. Rubbing her temples as her cute bunny ears bounced against her silky blonde tresses lightly; her fuzzy cotton tail wiggling as she walked. Aww, so cute! Turning the corner, she left the three men there to sing their cancan song while throwing their legs up into the air in a line dance.

"I think I would rather put up with Luxord and his strip poker game then that..."

And thus, she goes off to find that tea-drinking brit bastard. The wemens, they love him. Why? Hell if I know, it's one of those things where no one really understands what is going on so they just follow along with what everyone else is doing.

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(( A/N: Hehe, as you can tell, my friend Hinata helped with the crazy outbursts of that chapter. She's also the master mind who helped with another parody of mine called, 'The Golden Randomness.' Okay, well, we're off to work on chapter five since Hinata is Kairi to my Namine. Now I can finally bring Kairi in and have her help with how the story and it's random crazy feeling. ))


	5. Oh No Koolaid Man

Disclaimer: I don't own KH...

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Chapter Five: Oh No Kool-aid Man...

Still dressed in her costume, Namine walked into the kitchen, finding Luxord and his buddies playing strip poker already. Having Larxene, Xaldin, Saix, and Zigbar half naked by the time the witch had entered. Flicking her eyes over to Vexen who was exiting the room after grabbing himself something to drink, Namine then walks over, bangs in her face while being distant from everyone. Her anger radiating off her body while glaring at Axel as the male strolled in not long after the girl had. Putting some sake down in front of the half naked people, the blonde growled before straighting her posture to cross her arms. If Zexion had seen this, all hell would break loose. Axel better be glad that the Cloaked Schemer wasn't in the room is all I have to say.

Then, all of a sudden, as if in one of those action movies where the awesome theme songs plays and loud bomb sounds are going off in the back ground; Sora bursts through the wall like the Kool-aid man. Already being dressed in a Barney suit as he says 'Oh yeah!,' at the top of his lungs. Oh no Kool-aid man, look what you've done to our beautiful home. Haha, Dane Cook. He's so freaking hilarious. Anyways, jumping at the same time of turning mid-air, Axel turned around in order to come face to face with Sora who had already changed back into his normal clothes that quickly. Wow, I wonder where he got all of his practice from. Maybe we should ask Kairi about that one. Okay, just picking. Kairi called me a whore for saying that. Yes, I'm evil, bwaha. Back to the story. Sora then looks to Namine all serious like, his blue eyes going wide; thinking she was Kairi since he's such a reject.

"Kairi?! You got... short? And... uh. Blonde?"

Standing beside Namine by now, Axel lightly shook his head while closing his eyes to speak. Trying to seem like a bad ass which wasn't working since Namine was glaring at him from the corner of her eye. Burning holes into that empty head of his which was making him feel uncomfortable.

"No no no, this is Namine. Namine, got it memorized?"

While speaking, the Flurry of Flames had gently tapped his right index finger against his head before finishing, opening his eyes as if he had to think about what he was about to say next. Concentrating really, really hard because it could be seen in his eyes how much the red head was trying to focus on this.

"N.. A.. M..."

Pausing to think more, not to mention that he was talking to himself while counting on his fingers. He was trying to finish her name by counting the finger tips to his left hand while pointing them out with the right. Kind of the way a third grader counts up to ten when the teacher asks them the answer to a question; containing math. But since we're speaking of how to spell a name here, Axel was way off with his methods of trying to think. Then he just gives up and blurts out the only thing that he could think of.

"Uh... NAY?"

Just a few moments after Axel had made himself look like a blooming idiot, Kairi had walked in, correcting Axel without even missing a beat. Obviously she had heard the whole conversation from outside. Jeez, how loud does that guy talk anyways?!

"N. A. M. I. N. E. Namine, got _that_ memorized?!"

Standing there all confused, the Memory Witch just stared at the weird people around her. Blinking a few times as to why they were currently arguing about how to spell her name before having a sudden thought hit her. How in the world did Kairi and Sora even here in the first place?

"Uh, guys? How did you get in?"

Sora smiles all goofy like before striking a pose, being the first to answer the blonde female since he blurted out the answer before Kairi even had the chance to process what the other female had said.

"The back door was open."

Then the brunette had proceed to point in the direction of a door that was saying 'Exit' in bright red letters after he spoke. How convenient. Staring at the choppy haired male, Namine nodded slowly before her attention was then grabbed by someone behind her growling. Flicking her crystal blue orbs to the left, her gaze fell onto that of Larxene who was dumbing her fingers against the kitchen table in an annoyed way. Glaring at the Keybladers who were getting on the nymphs nerves.

"Oi! Maggots, we're in the middle of something! You could have used the door you know, instead of busting down the damn wall. You ass wipe..."

Having his big, blue hues turn into adorable puppy dog eyes, Sora started to tear up as he replied to Larexen, having the Savage Nymph just stare at him in a none caring way.

"But I wanted a cool entrance!"

He had started to whine when Kairi had calmly reached over, grabbing Sora's keyblade from his hand before smacking him in the back of the head with his own weapon. Then, after handing it back to the male and giving him a soft pat on the shoulder, she walked over to Namine; blinking at Axel who was still counting on his fingers. Why he was even still thinking about that, who knows. The Princess of Heart then sighs to his ignorance before turning her attention to her own Nobody, blinking to the outfit adorned on the others body. Wow, Kairi got really mean all of a sudden, don't you think?

"Namine, why are you dressed like that? Who did it?"

A little afraid to anger the other female, Namine instantly points at the oblivious Axel before Kairi turned to glare at him. Narrowing her blue yes before her arms moved to cross along her chest, lightly tapping her foot against the white marble floor in the kitchen. Letting out a held breath, she huffs lowly before speaking in an irritated tone.

"Axel... don't make me take off my shoe."

Axel then looks up with wide eyes at the sound of his name being called, getting an offensive, yet so lost expression upon his face. God he's so clueless.

"What did I do?!"

Staring at the brunette with his wide eyes blinking in a confused fashion, the male Nobody shook his head some. Looking around to room as if trying to spot what he had done wrong. Keeping her glare upon the red head, one hand dropped from her crossed arms in order to be placed onto her hip while the other extended out to allow herself to point in Namine's direction. The Special Nobody being the only smart one in the room by keeping her mouth absolutely shut.

"Uh, look at Namine. Do I even want to ask why?"

Blinking as if it finally dawned on him, he flicked his eyes to the floor, pouting in a childish manor while the sulking male continued to whine about the whole situation. Mumbling under his breath about the full reason he had even forced the blonde to dress in such a way. _"Luxord said that-"_

Getting utterly annoyed by the way he was trying to keep the reason hidden, the female blurted out; cutting him short in mid sentence while pointing to her ear. Using this as a gesture to tell him that she couldn't hear him speak, let alone catch any spoken words that had left his mouth.

"Huh, what was that? Speak a little louder Axel. I can't understand what you're saying when you have Roxas' dick in your mouth."

Hearing the fellow princess speak in such a way, Namine simply blinked in a stunned manor, smirking while trying not to bust out into laughter. Shaking her head to the expression on Axel's face, which was priceless I might add, she slowly allowed her light blue orbs to float in Kairi's direction; grinning in approval that there had been someone in the room who wasn't retarded. Heh, paying Kairi to be a straight up bitch, fifty dollars. The amount to buy eighty pounds of sea salt ice cream at which it costs to bribe Sora into dressing in a Barney suit, two hundred and fifty dollars. But the look on Axel's face after that burn, PRICELESS!

"Oooh, I didn't know it was even possible to burn a fire user, but you just achieved that. Nice. Pound it..."

Namine and Kairi quickly pounded their fists together before Kairi leaned over to whisper in Namine's ear. Letting the other female know ahead of time about the next action at which she was about to undertake. Not that it really mattered since the brunette didn't give Namine enough time to register what she had said before she grabbed her and started running.

"I'm going to kidnap you in... Five. Four. NOW!"

Then, without the blonde noticing what was going on, the female keyblade wielder grabbed Namine's wrist, dragging her body behind while the Memory Witch flew through the air all chibi like. Kairi had managed to pull the memory weaver along until they had reached her room; Namine finally catching her balance after they entered the premises. Going over to her closet, she grabbed one of her white sun dresses then headed to the bathroom in order to change out of that ridiculous cosplay costume. Moments later, the female returned with a sigh of relief before strolling over to take at seat at Kairi's side on the bed. The female's mind already thinking of something devious and mischievous to do for revenge. DING! Light bulb appears over Kairi's head. Namine narrows her eyes to the vi sable light bulb, slowly starting to shake her head since she knew that this can't end well. Kairi then grins really big before screaming out, taking Namine by surprise.

"PRANKS!"

Jumping from being taken off guard, Namine yelped before falling off the bed. Staring up at Kairi who was pointing at the ceiling. Giggling to her own masterpiece of a plan, the brunette then turned to glance in the direction where Namine had previously sitting not even two seconds ago. Only to find the Memory Witch not there. Giving a confused expression to the missing female, she started to look around the room before dropping her gaze toward the floor; finally spotting the blonde

"How'd you get down there?"

What had made it worse was that Kairi had asked that in a serious voice, staring at Namine like the blonde was the crazy one here. Yeah right, sure she was. Standing abruptly, the princess moved to grab a random sketch pad of the Special Nobody before grabbing a pen and returning to the said bed; starting to write and plan out their next action while Namine continued to lay on the floor. Sighing in a soft manor as she stared at the ceiling in an absent minded fashion. The blonde knew all too well that she was about to get dragged into something that possibly won't end well.

"Let's have a sleep over while you and I prank the Organization members..."

Kairi said after awhile, breaking Namine's train of thought while an evil smirk crossed the teens lips. Namine just simply sat up in her current position on the floor, knowing there was no use to object so she simply nodded. After awhile, the girl gently pulled her knees into her chest while the other went crazy and all out with her doodling; hugging her legs while she hid her face away into her knees. Waiting to hear what was next to come.

"Okay, first thing's first. We're going to Marluxia's bathroom..."

Hearing that they had to even step foot into the pink haired male's bathroom, Namine blinked while instantly lifting her head from her knees, eyes growing wide in fear as she stared at her other self; wondering why in the hell Marluxia had to be first.

"W-WHY?!"

Hearing the question, Kairi simply gave the Special Nobody a 'Are-you-serious' look, shaking her head before standing to extend her hand out for Namine to take hold. Wanting to get a jump start on the whole operation. Confused at her friend for not already knowing what the glorious prank was, Kairi just stood there, awaiting for the blonde to either take her hand and bring her sitting body into a standing position or object upon the entire subject. Though, she couldn't help but blink to the expression Namine was giving her so she went ahead and explained her motive; letting the other female know that she wasn't going to _kill_ Marluxia or anything. Wait, would that really even be considered a bad thing if she did?

"To put Nair in his shampoo bottle. Duh..."

Hearing the others words, the blonde sighed again, inwardly telling herself not to do this but only found herself placing her palm within the extended hand before she dragged her body up and stood on her own two feet; turning to follow Kairi out the door now.

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(( A/N: Bwahahah... and chapter six shall begin their devious plot of playing tricks on the Organization members. I know it sounds like we hate just about every character, but honestly, we have nothing against _any_ of the characters in Kingdom Hearts; it's just fun to pick on them in an OOC manor. Well, actually we do hate Marluxia with a passion of a thousand deaths for what he did to Nami but other then that, everyone else is cool. But keep those reviews coming! They help keep me in the writing mood. ))


	6. Sora is, the Big Kahuna

Disclaimer: Never have I owned KH...

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Chapter Six: Sora is, the Big Kahuna...

And now, our most amazing yet so freaking hilarious story continues! Why? Because we demand it so, that's why. We demand a lot of things if you haven't noticed. That's just because we're just that awesome. Yeah, that's right, unlike that guy over there who's making out with a hairdryer, I'm just that awesome. I have the power to say such things because I AM the Princess of chap stick and I DO rule with an iron sharpie while controlling my army of giant gummy bears and squirrels to do my evil bidding. You just wish that you could do it like me! So put that in your juice box and SUCK IT.

I'm just picking, you know I luffles you guys like family. Especially you with the hair, yeah you; you know your name. You're the person with the face, Le gasp! Okay, ANYWAYS, moving on. Now, back to the story. By this point in time, Namine was following Kairi out of her bed room door, lightly sighing to the whole situation before she had flicked her blue hues up at the sound of something slamming against the wall. Blinking a few times to the sudden infliction of audio, the blonde tilted her head some before instantly glancing over to the Princess of Heart; giving a confused expression.

Being a little afraid to even know what had caused the source of such a loud thump, she cleared her throat before taking a step closer to the brunette female; bringing her right hand up to her chest while she stood there utterly lost. Well, after everything that has happened tonight, lost would be an understatement so she's just going along with it. Is that okay with you? Okay good. And as I was saying, yes, this sound was an extremely loud noise because I don't think you're grasping the concept here! Squee, you may now proceed to insert another explanation point here.

Let me break it down for you now. I mean, think about it. Those freaking castle walls are like uber thick okay, and if something was to be loud enough for it to even be heard on the other side, it has to be loud as hell. I'm talking about your most favorite of all favorites' band concert-blaring type of loud while you're standing right in front of the speakers. Your hair and the flesh upon your face being blown by back the force of all that is loud and BAAH. Well, maybe not that loud but still, it was a pretty freaking big ass noise.

So as I was saying, in a world, like no other.. Sora is; the Big Kahuna. Who had, no wait, Sora's not even in this chapter so what am I talking about?! Or is he? Dun dun DUN. Other wise known as, duwfin; Pam Jutsu. And yes, we're talking about the cooking spray. Mix all that up in an green polka dotted clothes hamper while having dust crumblies all up in your salad of peperoni and mustard with a marshmallow on top and you have a tea party from hell. Alright right! Dude, since we're on the subject of marshmallows, according to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, it's impolite to lick someone else's marshmallow. So like, I have a question. What if you're really hungry and their mellow looks so much more satisfying then your own?! Obviously life has tough choices, and my mom told me to always make good choices but, GOOD CHOICES BURN! So lick that marshmallow, stop crying over Tony the Tiger peeing in your Cheerios, get a life and stare at the sun. Speaking of staring at the sun, the sun was looking at me through my window this morning; I'm blind now thanks to it! It was saying wakie wakie bitch, I'm going to burn your white ass to a crisp chica. And yes, obviously the sun speaks Spanish now. I just thought I would let you know that before I continued on with my amazing story.

So as I was saying, while the Memory Witch and the female Keyblader stood awaiting to see what had caused such a loud collision into the wall, Luxord and Cid came marching out of Luxords' room. Please don't ask why Cid's there, he just is, because I, myself, don't even know how he got into the story. And I'm even the Narrator here too. Haha, Hinata says that she pulled him outta her ass; so yeah, that's how he got into the story. Now, since that's cleared up, I'll get back to narrating. Well, as the two drunkards made their way out of the Brit's bedroom, the two men were singing 'Dude looks like a lady'. Very loudly and very off key I might add while they laughed at absolutely nothing. Namine just stood there staring at the two older men, tilting her head in a confused way before she started to take an even closer step to her other self; going to hide behind Kairi while the fellow female looked dumbfounded at the sight in front of her before bursting out in laughter. Namine had looked over to whisper something in Kairi's ear; only to her dismay, she found the brunette no longer there. Slightly panicking that she had lost her counter part, the blonde teenager started looking around fanatically to try and find the girl. Only to blink out at the sight her blue hues fell upon as an annoyed expression crossed her cute features.

Just standing there staring at the brunette, Namine let a long exhale pass her pink lips; pushing her face into the palms of her hands while she sighed at her friend. Kairi had went over to the men and had started doing her own little chibi dance while singing along with the drunken fools. Dancing almost the way you would see adorable little chibi characters who are dancing to either the Numa Numa song or the Caramelldansen tune. So cute! Though, when you're in the middle of a 'mission' as Kairi had liked to call it, this was no time to shake your booty. Letting her hands fall from her face now, the witch blinked again, using her left hand to tuck her blonde tresses behind her ear before she averted her crystal orbs to the floor; letting Kairi have her fun while the Special Nobody leaned back to let her body rest against the castles' wall near her bedroom door. Then, all of a sudden, as if she had just realized what she was doing, the brunette stopped in all action; having a small blush cross her cheeks before she tugged at her school uniform to fix the wrinkles she had acquired during her spontaneous movements.

"Okay, I did not just do that..."

The Keyblader had spoken through a panting inhale, looking to Namine who was now staring at the girl like she had lost her freaking mind. Trying to hold back a giggle, the blonde covered her mouth before Kairi had started laughing herself, causing the Nobody to lose it while she laughed at her crazy friend. Gently shaking her head, the manipulator of memories then moved from the wall in order to go over to Kairi's side, looking up at the two men before she quirked a curious brow. Kairi on the other hand was too busy trying to re-fix her hair and outfit to even notice that the three blondes were talking amongst one another; completely leaving her out of the conversation since it seemed she really wasn't interested in the first place. Namine attempted to grab Cid's attention, trying to talk above their horrible singing voices while an astonishment crossed her face. These two knew one another?!

"Cid why are you here hanging out with ..._Luxord_?"

"That, that! Dude looks like a lady! That, that! Dude looks like a la- Huh? Well shit fire, he's been my drinking buddy for years!"

Apparently 'Dude looks like a lady' is their theme song if you're wondering. And I don't even _want_ to know what the loud thump was so we'll just move on. I'll be nice and let you use your own imagination on that one. Okay, so once the female was close enough to the men, she could smell the alcohol off their breath which was absolutely gross. Though, as if that wasn't bad enough, Namine was also forced to look at the two while they were dressed in unusual costumes. Hold up! What in the hell are those two up to anyways? Did they lose a bet during the strip poker game or something? Wait, Cid wasn't even at the game earlier, so then why was he standing there wearing a Mexican hat that says 'We grande size here', in a taco suit while wooden Switzerland type clogs were adorned upon his feet.

In all honesty, I really don't want to know why he was wearing a taco suit, possibly because I'm hungry right now so we'll just move on to what number X is wearing. Not that he was any better. Actually, I think I'd rather put up with Cid because Luxord was in a pair of powder blue whitie tighties and nothing else. So in other words, he's basically half naked. Ewww, the naked Brit mo'fo! And what did I just tell you! I think I would rather put up with the drunk taco then that any day!

"Yeehaw! Let's get this show on the road!"

After the Al Bhed had, unfortunately, yelled his words at the top of his lungs which almost burst the girl's ear drums, he started making his way back towards the kitchen. His 'yeehaw' making him sound like a red neck as he carried something black in his right hand. Luxord just followed the other male, flaunting his stuff down the hall way like he was God's gift to women; scratching at his blonde goatee before crossing his arms over his chest as he disappeared around the corner and out of the female's sights. As much as I would love to say that the two girls forget all of this ever happened and had continued on towards the bathroom Marluxia always uses, they just couldn't. Well, more like Kairi couldn't, and thus, she was about to drag Namine along for the ride. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she just had to see what those two were up to; not to mention that the prank could wait a few seconds while they figured out what was going on before going to follow through with their plans.

Reaching around, the brunette grabbed onto the forearm of a very confused, yet so innocent Namine, and managed to tug her along down the hallway until the two had reached the kitchen doors again. Only now did the female release the other while she slowly peeked her head around the corner, finding... bum bum BUM. What did she find?! Hinata having fights with herself in my mirror?! Xemnas ridding Vexen around in his lap on a little red tricycle?! Or maybe, something more horrible and slightly disturbing then that. This coming up next in the latest chapter of, Once Upon a Fairytaco of Humor. You know the suspense is killing you; bwahaha.

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(( A/N: Okay, Chapter Seven is already typed up and ready to be posted. BUT! Hinata and I have decided that, until Once Upon a Fairytaco of Humor gets at least five reviews, no updating. Evil? Yes, yes we are. Although, Chapter Six was a bit short, that was only because we had taken Chapter Six and chopped it in half to make the longer half Chapter Seven since it was _so_ freaking long. Also, if you're wondering about the taco and all that, man, we are wanting some Taco Bell like crazy right now! -Le sniffle.- This being the reason why it had worked it's way into the story, heh. ))


	7. My eyes, they burn

Disclaimer: Same as before...

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Chapter Seven: My eyes, they burn...

Now, where were we in the previous chapter. Ah, yes, the cliff hanger from where Kairi was peeking her head around at the kitchen door. I'll just pick up from exactly where I had left off then; savvy? After dragging Namine the entire way down the hallway, the Princess finally released the blonde female while she slowly peeked her head around the corner, finding that the group of Organization members from before were still playing their game of cards. Heh, not as horrible and bad as you were expecting huh? Well, it was more like Xaldin and Zigbar were playing patty cake at the table the group had started playing their game around, Larxene was laying back in her chair filing her nails while the two drunks from before were messing around with a bunch of cords. Growling under her breath at her misfortune to not see what the guys were up to, Kairi grabbed Namine and pushed her through the doors first before she had followed; glancing around the room before her attention instantly turned to the Al Bhed taco who had finally managed to get his equipment hooked up.

Standing back, he examined his work of art before chuckling out while he went through Luxord's iPod touch. Why he needed so many cords for just that, who knows; it's Cid. Apparently the two had went to get the entertainment since that's what had been in the males hand when the engineer started going through the songs. Growing bored with the two, Kairi turned to face Namine now, shrugging her shoulders before she took another glance around the room.

"Okay someone is missing. There's Luxord, Larxene, Xigbar and Xaldin... so who is..."

As if it had crossed both of the girl's minds at the same time, they both glanced to each other; speaking in unison now.

"SAIX!"

Hearing his name being called, the Luna Diviner had grunted lowly, catching their attention while he was leaning over the sink; getting a drink of water from the looks of it. Though, the two had wished they had never looked in his direction; seeing the frightening sight that was sticking it's butt into the air while he sipped at his liquid refreshment. Saix was adorned in these ugly ass daisy duke shorts that were made from this shinny looking leather, but what was worse was his shirt; which consisted of a white tube top. Having the words 'slippery when wet' across the chest on and 'I work at Hooters as my day job' on the back in bright, yellow lettering. Blinking at this, the brunette lowered her voice before speaking to the Special Nobody whom was standing at her side still; afraid to see what else was about to happen. Keeping her voice above a whisper, Kairi spoke out to the witch.

"Fifty bucks says that, _that's_ the outfit he always wears under his cloak..."

Shuddering, Namine slowly turned around, looking to Kairi as if she was out of it before slightly shaking her head. Now they were making bets?! Jeez, they were getting just about as bad as the Organization members. Sighing lowly, the blonde cupped her hands in front of her before she closed her eyes, trying to get that mental picture out of her head. She was going to be permanently scarred after this night, no doubt about that. Though, her thoughts were cut short when the song, 'Cotton Eye Joe' was heard; blasting from the speakers. This must have been the song the Al Bhed chose to play. Literally jumping to the loud song, Namine meeped out from the sudden audio before looking to Kairi almost instantly; mentally thinking that if the other had started dancing to this song as well, she was going to leave the room.

The Keyblade wielder was about to say something, going to reassure Namine that she wasn't going to dance when she had seen Saix walk past her, going over to the two speakers that were providing the source of music currently. Getting up onto the counter, he started to dance around; much the way a very bad stripper would before Xaldin choked on his own saliva; falling out of his chair. This making everyone in the room immediately stop what they were doing to stare at the dancing Saix. What in the...

Starting to actually strip now, number VII had already gotten down to just being in his leather shorts when the Savage Nymph had started to crawl over to him, attempting to be all seductive and sexy while carrying a rubber duckie in her mouth. Making her way onto the counter with the male, she reached for the blue haired males shorts; going to put the rubber duckie into the waist band but instead, she had resulted in ripping the fabric right into two pieces. Exposing the Luna Diviner to be wearing a pink, frilly thong that had a cherry on the crotch. _Her _pink, frilly thong that had a cherry on the crotch. Uttoh, might as well say that he's good as dead if he's wearing XII's panties.

"Wah? So you're the dick-less wonder that stole my panties!"

"Wait, these are _YOURS_?! DEMYX, I thought you said you bought these at Victoria Secret!"

Having the two screaming at each other over the music now, Saix then started to tear up before turning to run off; having one very pissed of Larxene chasing after his stupid ass while the teenage girls just watched at this in horror. Being tormented by something they so hadn't wanted to see, Namine and Kairi both turned around at the same time, covering their orbs while screaming out to the naked Saix.

"Ahhh! My eyes, dey burn! Are they bleeding?! NO really, ar-are they bleeding?!"

After a moment had passed with Kairi screaming about her bleeding hues, Namine started to walk away very calmly, strolling over to the kitchen sink before reaching in to pull out a spoon. Curious as to why she wanted a spoon now of all times, Kairi tilted her head, blinking at the blonde before scratching at the back of her head. Fearing that maybe, just maybe, all this had finally fried the Special Nobody's brain.

"U-Um... Namine, what are you doing?"

As if on cue, the blonde then softly replied to her counter self's question, finally retrieving the item at which she had been searching for.

"Getting a wooden spoon so I can gouge out my eyes. What did you think I was doing, getting a spoon so you can eat my ass?"

Having her eyes grow wide to her own Nobody's words, Kairi huffed lowly before reaching over to steal Larxene's cute duckie that was laying on the floor, turning to throw the thing at Namine after she had the squeak toy in hand; which was so totally intercepted by the witch who just simply side stepped. Completely avoiding the germ infested bath toy all together. Finally noticing what she had just touched, Kairi almost gaged; jerking out her scented Germ-X before pouring a giant glob into the palm of her hands. Rubbing that shit in like there was no tomorrow! While rubbing her hands together desperately, Namine just stood there watching with amusement while trying not to smile.

"No! Wait... Ewww! I have Saix penor germs and ugly transvestite drool on me now!"

Giggling at this now, Namine couldn't help but laugh at the Princess of Heart, watching the girl squirm to get not only those terrifying thoughts out of her head, but to now get the so called germs off her hands. Moving over to her side, Namine had to smack at Kairi's hand when the brunette had reached out, thinking that was going to wipe her hands off on the witch's white sun-dress. Giving her a death glare, the blonde slowly shook her head before crossing her arms in an idle way over her chest; wondering why they were even here of all places anyways.

"Um, hey, Kairi? Why did we even come here again?"

Remembering that she had completely forgotten about the pranks, Kairi blinked to her friend before giving her a sheepish grin; knowing that she needed make up a reason aside from the actual fact that she had allowed her curiosity to take over her body's actions. Glancing around the kitchen to try and think of something, the brunette then nodded to the blonde; happily giggling before clearing her throat some.

"To get those big yellow gloves that way we won't get wax on our hands? U-Um.. yeah! That's it, heh, to get those big yellow gloves. What ever they're called..."

Staring at her silently, Namine shook her head some before sighing again. Knowing good and well that the other had just thought of that from off the top of her head. Oh well, she did have a pretty good point there so she allowed it to slide; reaching under the sink now to grab two sets of gloves before the Nobody heard the voice of Luxord above all of the music. Too afraid to even look, the female had simply stared down at what she was doing. Listening intently to what was going on around her but not actually turning to take a look. Thank God Namine had decided to be smart this time because just as Luxord had walked back into the room, he had to grab Cid's sombrero from his head in order to hold the hat over his crotch since the Gambler of Fate was absolutely, completely, and utterly naked by now. Wait, when did he leave the room in the first place is what I'd like to know.

Well, anyways, yes Luxord was completely, utterly, and totally naked; well, somewhat anyways. He did have his man titties covered by whip cream, using cherries as nipples and pretty colored sprinkles for chest hair while he stood there with a cocky expression on his face. Glancing down at the hat now, he blinked some before letting his blue eyes follow a random dust bunny that had rolled by right as he had entered the premises. With a serious expression, the Organization member nodded to the rolling bunny of love and pizza- Oh! Speaking of pizza, Hianta just said she's hungry and curse the evil sandwich for it's yummy goodness of youthful banquets! Yeah, she thought that she would share that with you. Now don't you feel special. Okay, back to Luxord. Speaking out in a husky voice, the male had winked his eye at absolutely no one before moving his hands to rest upon his hips. Letting the sombrero drop.

"Yo quiero Taco Bell..."

Flexing his so called muscles, the Brit then turned to stroll out of the room, showing his bare ass which, I hate to say, had a banana sticking out from between the butt cheeks; completing his banana-split sundae that was adorned upon his body. Hearing Zigbar laughing his ass off to the way the banana was shaking as X walked, Namine returned to her friend's side since she figured the worst was over. Though, instead, she came across Kairi who was now reaching for the wooden spoon that the witch had just moments ago. Blinking to the Princess, Namine tilted her head; holding their gloves while she shook her head to the brunette.

"Now what are _you_ doing, Kairi? "

"Gouging out my eyes!"

"Uh huh, now you know how I feel..."

Not wanting to experience anything else going down in this room, Kairi instantly grabbed onto Namine and bolted out of the room; running as fast as her legs would carry her without tripping and falling flat on her face. Ha! Did you know that Hinata and I have tripped up the stairs once? Man, anyone can fall down stairs but it takes talent to trip up them. That's right, we're just that awesome that we don't have to answer to gravity. Jealous? Although, Hinata does has a scar on her knee from tripping up the steps at school once. It... talks to me. Seriously, you just don't know.

Finally, after a few moments of running, the girls came to a stop; panting for their breath before Namine pointed down the hall at which they were standing in. Who knows have many flights of stairs the two had climbed, not to mention those three elevators they took along with the eight escalators. They probably would have gotten here sooner if they hadn't stopped by the ice cream parlor of the way up. Dude, Castle Oblivion has a freaking ice cream shop?! Lucky bastards! Seeing that the other was pointing to something, the brunette looked to her before pushing her fingers through her hair; shoving her bangs from her face before tilting her head in curiosity. As if Namine had read her mind, she answered the girls question before she had the chance to speak.

"This is the floor Marluxia stays on... the bathroom he uses is just down this hallway."

Hearing those words, a smirk started to make it's way across Kairi's lips; followed by a small chuckle that was stopped when she had sniffled a snort. Haha, sniffled a snort. Yeah, try saying that five times fast. Clearing her throat, the girl the nodded before turning to lead the way; having a weary Namine follow close behind since she hated this floor. Finally reaching the bathroom door, Kairi held out her hand for Namine to hand her the rubber gloves before the two slid them on. Moving into the room, the witch almost clammed up into her own shell; having this far off distant look while she stayed on the Keyblader's heels. Shuddering to the thought of even being in this place, the Special Nobody stopped when Kairi had; not exactly knowing the whole plan which Kairi took this moment as her chance to explain.

"Okay... Namine, I want you to find his shampoo and I'll do the rest okay? Then, we'll wait outside the door and when he comes out with no hair, we'll take a snap shot and paste it all over the internet."

Having a mental image of Marluxia with no hair caused the Memory Witch to giggle, instantly nodding to her friend before she turned to start on her new objective; find and locate the shampoo bottle. Oh what fun they shall have...

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(( A/N: Okay, next chapter, Marluxia will be checked off the prank list... so who will be next lucky victim? Bwaha. Ha... HA, okay, I'm done now. Haha, they've completely gone OOC at this point... man, every parody I write is completely random... AND YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT! Woooo! Okay, you know what to do. Review to keep me motivated.))


	8. Obey the tooth brush, OBEY

Disclaimer: Yeah, you already know that I don't own KH; and I'm pretty sure that you should _already_ know that I don't own any of the name brand items or other things throughout this story. Such as Koolaid, Taco Bell, or even Dane Cook. I don't own these things! I just crack jokes involving them in the process; I have a complex system I follow. Now that is out of ze way, lets get on with what you came here for... The Fairytaco of Humor.

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Chapter Eight: Obey the tooth brush, OBEY...

We're going to start off chapter eight with what we're good at, random out bursts to get you in the mood while the story comes in from out of nowhere. Kind of like a surprise to make you feel all special. Yeah, just thought I would give you a heads up before you suddenly blink at your computer screen with confusion. So, burn on the red hot intensity of Donald's love that scorches with an unlimited amount of rays at which the sun of Egypt produces where it showers down upon thee. Hiding the white flower that blooms in the middle of a snow storm as it rains down paper plates of happy bliss that's a gorgeous color of blue; representing Demyx's tightie whities that are also blue which he wears with the pink polka dots while his butt cheeks hang out of the back.

Long story short, let's just say that Xaldin went around with scissors cutting out the back section of the Organization member's underwear. No one knows why, no one really wants to know what goes through his head so it's safe to say that it was a spontaneous action that I'm not going further into.

So, back to the story. Well, that random fish sitting over there in the corner with the face says that this is Sparta and he wants to kick his own eye with a really hot corn-dog. Singing, _'gloosha goober booger yum, yummy. Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby I will pee in your shoe while holding you hostage so I can eat my cotton candy from your armpit.'_ In other words, it burns when Axel pees, Larxene is a Marluxia ball-biter, and Saix is a wanna be porn star with Xemnas and Demyx. You think you know, but then again maybe you do know, but what you _don't _know is that hobo who is now eating the fish says that he thinks your big toe looks tasty.

Run from the hobo named Mista Spanky Pants! For Mista Spanky Pants wishes to be your friend, but Mista Spanky Pants also happened to have eaten his last friend so that's why I'm suggesting for you to run from Mista Spanky Pants. If you haven't noticed by now, that hobo is scary and his name is fun to say repeatably; haha. Anyways... After pouring the wax into his shampoo, Kairi and Namine are now hiding around the corner of the hallway while they await for Marluxia to fall under their glorious plot. All the while, arguing with Roxas as he tried to make them believe that he was under a surge of depression that courses through his veins with such deep emotion that he can't help but cut to forget his pain.

"So in other words, I wear black because it matches my soul."

Kairi and Namine just stare at him now, not exactly buying that his soul is black or whatever. Okay, let's put it this way; he _has_ to be lying. Because his soul is actually a bright yellow people; don't let him fool you the way Axel tries to fool everyone by saying that he likes girls. Oh, now that was a burn. HA! Maybe the Pyromaniac should take notes from a true master of flames. I burn people so hot that they need Aloe Vera after wards because lotion and ice just won't cut it. So yeah, as I was saying, his soul is actually a bright, but kind of a dull-like yellow. Like the color of pee! Wait, no... we really do have to go take a potty break now. Before we leave, Kairi needs to pop Roxas in the back of the head just for being stupid; at which she proceeds to do.

WEE! Okay, back to the story.

Well, while the two completely ignore Number XIII, Marluxia enters the bath room; going to take his nightly shower. Though, from where they are standing, the three of them can hear Marluxia cooing, "bbbbbrawr," while he's washing his hair which kind of made the situation awkward, yet funny at the same time. The sound he was making was like the way a cat in heat would sound. You know what I'm talking about, the annoying ones that will back their butt up to you when you're trying to freaking ignore them and eat a freeze pop that you have so been longing for all day. The good freeze pops that are blue; other wise known as, sea salt ice cream bitches. And the stupid cats just won't go away no matter how much you try to ignore them. Hinata's cat does that a lot, which of course, we're always cracking jokes about it. Good times, good times.

Suddenly the audio switched over to another sound, this time being a loud, "SQUOINK," which basically meant that Marluxia had realized his hair was falling out now. Giggling, Kairi intently waited until the _once_ pink haired male ran from the bathroom; screaming at the top of his lungs while she planned the photo perfectly. Catching him right as his girlish scream made him look hideous; not that he doesn't already look that way on his own. Well, with Marluxia running down the hallway, butt naked saying the aliens were coming and to get down; Kairi pulled Namine along with her. Now going to find their next victim while the night was still young.

Which was kind of put on pause since right as they turned the corner, they stumbled upon Sora talking to himself in a mirror which caught Namine's attention almost instantly. Grabbing Kairi, the blonde ducked to hide, jerking the other female down with her as the two continued to observe the species other wise known as, a male. It's like they're watching the discovery channel or something. Well anyways, as Sora stood there, obviously talking to his reflection, he struck a pose.

"I'm the... Mighty Morphing Marmalade. Or, what most would call me, M times seven to the third power, subtract two, carry the five and finally round to the nearest decimal. HA HA! Go, Go Marmalaidibalzubakagah!"

Then, the male did something rather odd, which in this story; wouldn't be surprising none the least. He pulled out a tooth brush of all things. Waving it around in front of his reflection, he tried to make himself look all big and bad. Holding the hygiene efficient object out like it was a sword of some kind. Why doesn't he just use his Keyblade if he wanted a sword is what I'd like to know.

"Fear the stick of DOOM! Cry from it's ungodly mightiness of everything that is spiteful and all that and then some... because it tis my steeeeeeek.. and joo shall bow down to the awesome power and obey eet because..yeah...it's my steek. Pronounced steek and eet, not 'stick' and 'it'. There's a difference I tell you, A DIFFERENCE!"

Answering himself now since it's obvious that his reflection can't talk on it's own, the male then tries to make his voice sound deeper. Like it was a completely different person staring back at him now.

"Uh, that's a tooth brush... not a stick."

Getting defensive now, the brunette actually started to argue with the mirror. Heh, talk about taking one too many fwaps and hits to the head. Poor Sora, he's finally lost his mind. Not that he had a lot to start with, but at least there was something there. Now it would seem that he's gone over the deep end. So yeah, basically the Keyblade wielder is arguing with his self; giving the mirror a good stare down while he glared at it.

"....no, it's not! Okay, yeah; maybe it is. But shhhh! You don't know that! So just pretend that it's a stick okay, because sticks are SO much more scarier than tooth brushes. Unless you're afraid of the tooth fairy, _then _maybe it would be kind of scary and- Ugh! Now I forgot what I was saying..."

Getting slightly frustrated with his ability to confuse his own self, Sora goes to hit the tooth brush against the wall before stepping back so he could hold it gloriously after wards like it was the silver toilet scrubber of yester-years or something along those lines. Now watching the brush's end wave around by a thine thread, it finally broke off like it was a leaf falling from a tree to prove his defeat by the wall. How evil the wall is, especially when it jumps out in front of you from no where and you end up smashing your face into it's surface. Upon seeing his defeat, the male lowered his head to sulk about it all; turning to run off while grumbling under his breath of how his said stick had died.

"Stick of DOOM... failed. Miserably."

Okay, since we've now accomplished and know for a fact that Sora is a fried egg sizzling on top of Marluxia's now bald head, the two female scurry on down the hallway to sneak and take care of their next objective. Which would be... Kairi saying that someone was looking at her like she was a piece of chicken; extra crispy? Thank you KFC for extra crispy hot wings, Hinata says. In my opinion, I don't like KFC that much but oh well, I thought it was funny. Reason it's in the story. Or will it involve more of the hobo licking the castle walls, trying to convince everyone that they taste like hot sauce. OR, will their next prank end them up in hot water; getting scalded by the punishment and the outcome of things. Perhaps that's a hint? Either way, you'll just have to stay tuned until our next segment of; The Fairytaco of Humor. As for now, I'm heading to bed for some well needed sleeporz. TenTenSango, over and out people.

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(( A/N: Yeah, I can actually see, Sora, doing that which is what's so scary about it....))


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